Sunday, May 22, 2011

From Diapers to Graduation Gowns

On the eve of Haley's graduation, my mind is flooded with images of this young woman - from years ago, sitting on the counter of my mother's kitchen, before the cancer and the chemo and the...loss...., having her make Haley "super supers" which was glorified sundaes. It was a highlight of Haley's day when she could sneak it by me or I relented to the heavy sugar intake late in the evening.

I think about her spending an Easter with me at my sister's house, hunting Easter eggs and already posing for the camera and showing off the dimples. It came so easy to her even back then.

Her first day of school which coincided with my first day of law school. Guess which one of us DIDN'T cry...yes, her.

Jeremy and I taking her on trips to San Antonio (even pulling her out of school for a week and chalking it up to "education about Texas"! ha!), Dallas, Florida, Atlanta, Disney, Colorado, etc. and enjoying seeing her at all the water parks, finding the ice cream stand and gift shop (the child loved to shop from the womb, I believe).

Years of school friends, heartaches, loves, fusses and makeups; her support for me while Jeremy was deployed; her sense of humor that I don't think everyone sees - she's one of the funniest people I know. Jeremy and I are blessed with all these memories.

She has the gown, the graduation dress, shoes, getting her hair styled tomorrow afternoon and then tomorrow night, she will be a graduate. I know there will be college and that graduation. But this is the beginning of such a time for her. So many new experiences. I pray they are all good - but if can't be that, I hope they are life lessons for which she is not hurt by and learns from.

Pride? Yes, I am very proud of her. But most of all, I love her. I love her unconditionally. I know her Nana does too; how? Because she loved me unconditionally, as well. Most of all, she taught me that is what a good mother does -

It is going to be hard to loosen the strings. I'm sure there will be moments when she wonders why I want her to text me or call me when she arrives back at the dorm. I hope she humors me.

And I hope she remembers. Remembers it is because I love her with all my heart. And then remembers it when she has a daughter one day. This.....I hope we pass down another generation.

Unconditionally - I love Haley Taylor-Elizabeth Jones. And am so proud to be her mother.

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